This Blog Post… is a Rant. Gossip. Yeah, freak out!

I struggle with the label of Coach. One out of every five people I meet in the entrepreneur world calls herself a coach of sorts. Personally, I have hired five coaches in the last seven years and three of them have just been motivational cuddlers and ‘you-can-do-it’ hand holders, professional sweet talkers. 

A few coaches will probably read this, fume and froth and argue me to the teeth, that’s OK. I know that some good coaches will read this and appreciate what I have to share. That’s OK as well.

When I hired a coach, I was looking for a thought partner who will provide me with constructive criticism, meticulous analysis of my current strategies, tackle me on my weak points and develop systems and processes for me to help achieve growth, increase profitability and professionalism.  

But what I actually got was this: She walked into my office, opened up her leather portfolio, and asked to see my budget and cash flow forecast and my KPI reports. I asked her what those were. She appeared to be shocked, stared at me with eyes wide open for 10 seconds with her lips slightly parted, jotted down a few business terms for me to do my ‘homework’ on and said, “ I need you to study these and also how to do forecasts, then we can get started”. Then she left, just walked out. 

Three days later when she called and asked if I did my homework, I replied that I did. She said, “OK great, let’s schedule an appointment”. I said “why do we need an appointment? I know how to Google and brainstorm my strategies now, I don’t need you”

Another time when I needed a coach, I hired a greatly recommended one. And this is what happened, she walked in, sat in my office, ask me a bunch of questions about my current situation, then asked me what have I been doing that has been bringing results. When I gave her a bunch of answers, she wrote them down and said, great you should do more of that. So until our next session keep doing that and journal everything. Huh? Did I need to hire a coach at $150 an hour to tell me to keep doing what I’m doing?

Then, way back in 2011, I had just started my marketing business when I hired this wonderful air-headed coach. I was struggling for cash flow because my income was very low, being at the start up level, and I had started off in my home office. When I told her that I needed to increase my income and start working stress-free, she pulled out her print out from Google search and started rattling it out to me.

First thing you need to do is rent an office space. Then you need to hire a couple of assistants so that you are stress-free. Are you taking enough breaks? You need to drink a lot of water and go out sometimes for walks during your lunch break. Do not pick phone calls while you’re working. Let your clients know that you won’t be picking phone calls during certain times.

This sent my head spinning. I had two customers who paid me just enough to barely pay my bills, and here, my “coach” not only wanted me to rent an office place and hire assistants to do the work, but also make sure I do not pick my phone calls, what if that turned out to be a prospective client who didn’t bother leaving a voice mail? And what do I do to double and triple my income?  Of course, go for a walk and drink lots of water. How do these people with absolutely no business experience turn into coaches? 

Having run multiple businesses and business models for over 20 years, with appropriate background knowledge, workshops and certificates, I decided to mentor real business people with a growth mindset. What do I mean by real business people? That’s another story, I’ll write and tag it here soon. If you are reading this and don’t see it tagged, please do, ask me about it.

Have you wasted your money on hand holders and motivational cuddlers? Coaches these days are a dime a dozen. What makes me different is that I’m known to be hard nosed about GSD – Getting Shit Done. I do the whole 9 yards with my clients, assessing the current situation, narrowing down objectives, laying down principles, adopting business models, implementing SMART action plans, brainstorming, analyzing, monitoring progress, reviewing, tweaking details, a ton of follow up, a ton of cheerleading, a ton of propulsion, yeah.. kick baby steps to the curb. We don’t have until the age of retirement to be successful. We live in the NOW, We want it all, right now!

Advertisement: Do you wanna buy yourself a professional cuddler? Or would you rather invest in a mean coach who will throw you out of your comfort zone, push you to climb higher, strengthen you to take risks, try new possibilities and GSD? Go on a limb and hire me. Soon you’ll say “dollars well invested”.  Read this first.

These days I see a lot of advertisements that offer five days of free course to become a Business Coach, no experience necessary. And once again I go rolling my eyes. Oh, “How to start your business as a business coach and attract high end clients. These high end clients can’t be the dumbest of dumb dumbos! My eyeballs hurt.  I need a coffee now. Have you signed up to hear all about the Power of Digital Coffee? Sign up now.