Cognitive Restructuring – How Maggie used it to change her life

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I learned something after I helped my coaching client with her limiting beliefs. My client, let’s hide her name and call her Maggie, struggled with low self-esteem and anxiety all her adult years.

She often found herself trapped in negative thought patterns, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never be able to do this.”

All my coaching Maggie to win at her business kept failing because she didn’t think it was in her to make it big. One day, Maggie decided to open up and ask for help.

We dug into the concept of cognitive restructuring. Maggie was initially skeptical, but decided to give it a try.

Socratic Question as a Powerful Coaching Tool


With a little guidance, Maggie began to identify and challenge her negative thoughts. She learned to evaluate the evidence for her beliefs and consider alternative perspectives. For example, when she thought “I’m not good enough,” I helped her see that this thought was not supported by any concrete evidence, and that she had many positive qualities and accomplishments to be proud of.

Over time, Maggie began to replace her negative thoughts with more positive and empowering ones. She started to focus on her strengths and accomplishments, and to challenge herself to take on new challenges and try new things.

As Maggie practiced cognitive restructuring, she noticed a significant improvement in her self-esteem and anxiety. She felt more confident and capable, and was able to enjoy life more fully.

Eventually, Maggie realized that cognitive restructuring had changed her life in profound ways. She was no longer held back by her negative thoughts and beliefs, and was able to pursue her goals and dreams with confidence and optimism. She started tackling everything she was too shy to do, starting with creating Instagram reels, Facebook live and presenting a 20 minute sales talk in her networking group. Maggie had transformed her mindset and her life for the better.


Let’s get deeper into this concept and I’d like to tell you how strong its capability is. Cognitive restructuring is a therapeutic technique that is used to identify and challenge negative thought patterns and beliefs.

It is based on the idea that our thoughts and beliefs can have a powerful impact on our emotions and behaviors, and that changing these thoughts can lead to positive changes in our lives.

Cognitive restructuring typically involves several steps, including:


Identifying negative thoughts: The first step is to become aware of your negative thoughts and beliefs. This may involve keeping a journal or using other techniques to track your thoughts.

Evaluating evidence: Once you have identified a negative thought, the next step is to evaluate whether there is any evidence to support it. Often, negative thoughts are based on assumptions or distorted perceptions of reality.

Challenging negative thoughts: If there is no evidence to support a negative thought, or if the evidence is weak, the next step is to challenge the thought. This may involve asking yourself questions such as, “Is this thought helpful?” or “Is there a more balanced way to look at this situation?”

Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones: Once you have challenged a negative thought, the final step is to replace it with a more positive and helpful thought. This may involve reframing the situation in a more positive light, or focusing on your strengths and accomplishments.

Cognitive restructuring can be a powerful tool for overcoming negative thought patterns and developing a more positive mindset. It is often used in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and other forms of psychotherapy. A therapist or an educated coach will help you self-reflect, identify your negative self-beliefs and guide you step by step towards positive changes.  

Or you can also read up self-help books on the subject and practice on your own. There are also lots of online resources available if you know where to look

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